By Sam Eferaro
Nigerians proudly describe themselves as a people who respect older persons. Across our cultures, elders are greeted with honour, consulted for their wisdom and rarely addressed by their first names. But beyond these outward expressions of respect lies a more difficult question: do we truly care for our older people when they need us most?
Consider Mama Abigael, 82. Since the death of her husband three years ago, she has lived with her son, Nnamdi, and his family. A former secondary school teacher, she can no longer collect her pension in person, so Nnamdi manages her bank account and provides for her needs.
Mama also lives with severe arthritis, hearing loss, back and neck pain and deteriorating eyesight. Yet when her conditions worsen, getting to hospital can be difficult because her son and daughter-in-law are often busy. When they eventually take her, they complain about the long hours spent waiting.
At the hospital, Mama joins the general outpatient queue. There is no special service for older people. Sometimes, after waiting for hours, she receives little more than painkillers and reassurance that her problems are simply part of growing old.
Her family has heard that some government hospitals in Lagos offer older people medicines at discounted prices, but such support is not available where she lives. Her son’s growing concern about her medical bills adds another burden.
Then there is Alhaji Kolawole, 75. The respect he receives from members of the public sometimes stops at verbal greetings. He says traders and others in his community sometimes charge him more, brushing aside his complaints with the familiar appeal: “Haba, Baba, you are our father na!”
At home, he faces another form of discrimination. His wife believes he is too old to remain interested in intimacy. But Alhaji still desires companionship and affection.
For Mallam Usman, now in his early eighties, loneliness is only part of the problem. He is often treated like a child, with others deciding what he should eat and even whether he can spend his own money.
Grandma Elizabeth, a nonagenarian, faces perhaps the most painful indignity. She has reportedly been slapped when she soils herself and left outside in the sun because relatives believe the early morning sunshine is good for her. Because she is immobile, she may wait before someone helps her back indoors.
These are not isolated concerns. The World Health Organisationsays around one in six people aged 60 years and older experienced some form of abuse in community settings during the past year.
WHO defines elder abuse as a single or repeated act, or failure to take appropriate action, occurring within a relationship where there is an expectation of trust and causing harm or distress to an older person. It can be physical, sexual, psychological or emotional. It can also involve financial exploitation, abandonment, neglect and loss of dignity.
The consequences can be serious. WHO notes that abuse may lead to physical injuries, premature death, depression, cognitive decline, financial devastation and social consequences. Recovery can also take longer in older people.
Elder abuse is not always visible. It may appear as unexplained injuries, sudden changes in behaviour, withdrawal, poor hygiene, missing money or an older person becoming unusually fearful around a particular caregiver. Families and neighboursshould pay attention to such changes rather than dismissing them as part of old age.
Caring for an older person also means respecting their choices and independence whenever they are able to make decisions for themselves. They deserve to be listened to, included in family discussions and treated as adults, not burdens.
Growing old is a privilege many people hope to enjoy. How we treat today’s older persons reflects the kind of society we are building — and the kind of future that awaits us all.
Respect should not end with calling an elderly person “Daddy”, “Mummy”, “Baba” or “Mama”. It should be reflected in our actions, our families, our healthcare system and our public policies.
If we truly honour our elders, we must protect them from neglect, exploitation and abuse, and help ensure that they live their later years with dignity, comfort and care.
- The names used in this article are fictitious, but the situations described are real.
- NEXT WEEK: Why falls are one of the biggest threats to older Nigerians—and how to prevent them.
Takeaway
Tell-Tale Signs of Ageing: Dry Skin
Women do not always find this funny. It can be distressing to see once-smooth, glowing skin gradually become drier and less supple despite the use of expensive cosmetics.
Dry skin can be a normal part of ageing. As we grow older, the skin produces less oil and sweat, while its ability to retain moisture gradually declines. The skin may therefore become rough, itchy, flaky or scaly.
The ageing process begins earlier than many people realise. From the third decade of life, physiological changes in the skin gradually become more noticeable. Over time, the skin may lose some of its elasticity and wrinkles may become more pronounced.
People with darker skin may experience some visible signs of chronological skin ageing later than people with lighter skin, although ageing affects every skin type.
However, persistent dry skin should not automatically be blamed on age. If symptoms continue despite self-care, or the skin becomes inflamed, painful, infected or develops open sores, medical advice should be sought.
Growing older may change the skin, but good skin care, adequate hydration and attention to persistent problems can help keep it healthy and comfortable.
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